Death, Love, and Insanity
by madfantic
Summary: River Tam runs into two men. one who originated the alliance testing the other suffering from nearly the same pain as herself, you can expect nothing else but Death, Love, and Insanity to ensue.
1. Chapter 1

**Death, Love, and Insanity**

**Chapter 1**

**This is me trying to make to make the best attempt at a crossover between firefly,farscape, and chuck with the possibility of other TV shows if it works with the story. I'm trying my best to honor theses shows so if you see any flaws please comment.**

**Where the shows are at in my story**

** Firefly story is after the last ep of firefly with bounty hunter**

** farscape last ep of season two when Crichton begs to die. **

** And chuck is in the third season fist ep where he does nothing but eat cheese puffs**

Aiy

Why cant it ever go smooth?" Malcolm Reynolds asked pulling his gun shooting. Jayne and Zoe were beside him their bullets catching whatever the captain missed rushing towards the door.

"I knew this was a bad idea." Jayne Declared

"Shut it." Malcolm said.

"wouldn't listen me, we should've..."

"Jayne if you say one more word I swear you'll be nothing but lead."

"Sir," Zoe mentioned "he already is."

"Yea, but he'll be dead."

They inched closer to the door when the item they stole glowed in Zoe's hand.

"What the..." Jayne muttered noticing it before the room was like a million suns. Everyone stumbled to the ground.

Then it faded as fast as it came and two men fell out of it.

One dressed in some kind of sleeping robe covering his plain clothes his face was covered with a dirty beard the other was in red tights with a coat and a handsome face.

"Captain." Zoe said inquisitively

_** "Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo," the captain said before saying "**_Grab em"

Jayne started to complain when a cold look from Mal stopped his bickering.

Chuck grumbled in his sleep, memories flashed in his mind of her. He reached blindly for his cheese puffs as his only lifeline accidentally grabbing the head of another person before finding himself slamming his face in...metal?

Chuck was just just starting to get his bearings when his hair was yanked and that when the intersect kicked in. He took the man's arm without getting a good look at him and threw him like a rag doll before hearing a gun cock .Chuck slowly turn around to see a beautiful brunette woman aiming an old cowboy pistol at his head.

"Its your fault."

chuck gave a dumbfounded "I didn't mean to..." he started to say pointing to the unconscious man.

"Why didn't you destroy it."

"What are you..."He asked before he realized shes talking about the intersect.

She walked forward and said "Two by two hands of blue."

_**Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo Definition **___Filthy fornicators of livestock!

P.S. come next time when I get to use the word frell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Two by two hands of blue**

Chucks face looked even more dumfounded then before as he tried to flash but as he repeated those words in his head fear overcame him and his brain didn't function.

So he tried one last desperate attempt to fix the situation "Look we got on the wrong foot, my names chuck and you seem to misunderstand, I'm…"

"Aw!" the other man screamed jolting from the floor "What the FRELL'S GOING ON!" Chuck turned back to him. He stood up staring down at the two of them.

"Frell?" the woman asked.

For a second you could see the man's face change to a form of oddity that can't be described but once you seen it, its ingrained to your mind.

"So how's this one going to play out?" The stranger asked.

The woman and chuck looked at each other confused before turning back towards the man.

"You're not getting anything from me you'll see." He then gave a mad cackle unlike any that was heard of before.

He then moved forward before stumbling to the ground talking to himself towards an empty wall saying "not now scorpy… you won't get it..." His head stared coldly, as chuck turned around toward the woman and stated.

"He's nuts." but there was no reply for the woman also eyed the wall.

"What are you?" she demanded aiming the gun at air. There was a long silence.

"You hurt him, toyed with his brain, till he's not himself!" She shouted with tears falling down her face.

"Who...are you talking to," chuck asked before shots ran through the wall then the woman slowly turned her head to the man in leather. She rushed towards his half dazed state picked him up from the floor with no difficulty then slammed her lips in his mouth before starting to rip his clothes off.

"OH!," chucked declared quickly turning away from the scene " ill…leave you to it." then he stormed out the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

** Before I begin I would like to say sorry for taking so long to publish this chapter so I'm going to try to make this chapter extra long so please Comment if like it this makes it easier for me to write.**

Chuck swiftly left the room finding a good place to hide and took out his cell trying to get a hold of Sarah.

"Come on," chuck whispered to himself "pick up." The machine gave automatic noises before stating this number could not be connected so he tried again and did the same with everyone he knew gaining no reception.

"Okay I can do this I'll sneak out and get help." so he walked a little further through the metal hallways to find a big empty room with stairs leading to a second floor the exit or what looked like one in front of him. He looked around as best he could then quickly ran to the door he looked for the button to open it when someone declared

"Wouldn't do that if I were you." chuck turned slowly to see a man in a brown coat aiming a gun at his head.

"What do you want with me, I don't work with CIA anymore, you don't need me."

"Don't care who you work for. I just want what wants mine and that's getting paid. So how the hell did you come from that object?"

"What object?"

Another gun cocked on his left Chuck turned to see a woman wearing red aiming another gun at him.

The captain asked. "Where you come from?"

" California,Burbank. Where am I"

"Your on my boat and you best find out how you came to be here or you'll find trouble."

Chuck face showed fear as he tried to think of a way to escape when feet scrambled inside the room. Zoe, Malcolm, and Chuck looked to see a giddy River dragging the unknown man with him whose mouth was making wheezy noises trying to breath.

"River what the gorram are you doing?" Zoe asked.

"This is John." River said leaning her body closely onto his in a sexual manner.

"River?" was all the captain could utter trying to get the image he saw out of his head.

"I'm going to marry him!"she greedily smiled.

"what?!" All three said simultaneously

"he's mine."

After a long cough Crichton was able to speak "You tried to kill me!"

"Did not."

"I couldn't breath..."

"but you enjoyed it."

"Zoe," commanded captain "get Simon now." without a remark Zoe did as ordered.

River took her hands and grab John face making him look directly into her eyes "We are the only ones who understand each other. Aeryn doesn't know or care besides your on a completely different universe and earth is dead all we have's each other. Now will get married and then kill chuck." She said turning around at her last remark giving daggers to bartowski.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Warning I've decided to add another series to my crossover because no one would comment so please comment next time.**

Moya hovered over a marsh planet. Inside Zhaan waited for a report from D'argo and Aeryn while Rygel ate behind her complaining about Crichton's recent disappearance. When suddenly a blaring noise came from the ship and pilot was revealed in the shell.

"A vessel is boarding are ship in the docking bay!" said pilot

Zhaan asked " what kind of ship?"

"I cant tell it seems to be a box?"

"A box?" she inquisitively stated as she rushed to docking bay with a weapon. When she entered Chiana stood shakily pointing her weapon at a blue box. Zhaan stood beside her when the door burst open. An eccentric man stepped out with a brown coat and pointy hair.

"Hello, have you seen any temporal anomalies recently."he said while grinning.

**Meanwhile in a different galaxy and time**

Simon had a confused look on his face as he slowly walk towards his sister.

"River." he uttered "let him go."

"No," she screamed "Simon please I know your sad it didn't work out but its over now and I've found someone else."

"River?"

"I told you I didn't want my brother here. I want the preacher, he'll get us married, proper like." she said glaring at Mal.

John looked more pale now his eyes bloodshot as scorpy kept pressing further into his mind.

As Mal looked at his face it reminded him of the war.

"Zoe get the preacher." Mal ordered

"What?!" both Zoe and Simon said simultaneously.

"You heard me, he doesn't have much time and I don't want her to start a fight."

Zoe ran towards the preacher as Simon stood in front of Mal.

"You cant do this." Simon said.

"We don't have much choice." Mal replied

"Shes just a kid."

"A kid with with a gun."

Simon looked back at her sister and saw that a hand was behind John.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The shot echoed down the hallway barely missing chuck's head.

"Gorram, Will you please Stand still?" River shouted

"Are you crazy!" chuck replied going down another hall only to see a gun shoved in his face rivers eyes in a death stare.

"Why are you doing this?" chuck asked pleadingly.

"Its your fault,you didn't destroy the intersect by doing that the government kept experimenting with it till earth fell. This knowledge changed hands to the alliance, pushing the project further testing if the brain has other capability's then holding large sums of information."

"Surely they used Intel of other programs then just the intersect."

"Sure they were other attempts of the brains full potential but they all failed. your program is the only past success. By killing you I'll destroy the past intersect and I'll be free."

"You cant I already saved the intersect 2.0, its in my head ."

River look intently at chuck for a moment then tears started to fall down her face she slid to the ground. Staying still for a long time. Chuck watched in pity wanting to cheer her but the gun in her hand held him back. She began uttering.

"I feared to look inside hoping you still had the first one but I was wrong.

River got up slowly

"Come on." she ordered softly. Grabbing chucks hand in hers they walked back to the docking bay.

The couch chuck lay on before he vanished was now being scanned with some honing device. The person working the controls is a charming man with brown hair and blue eyes he wears a coat similar to the doctors. Ellie and Devon stood aside watching him.

"Excuse me," Ellie states "how does that thing help me find my brother!"

"Its scanning your brother movements,although theirs hardly any ."

Ellie was about to ask what he meant when the door bell rang she rushed towards it. Devon stayed still wondering if chuck had trouble with a spy mission. Sarah and John revealed themselves behind the door.

"We came as soon as we got the message." Sarah replied

Ellie look somewhat relieved when she told how scared she really was. Sarah pretend to listen as John came close to the scanning man . Devon seemed to wake up from a trance ready to jump into action. As john was inches away a bright light appeared and both men were gone.

River sat on the ground chained to a steel bar.

"John!" River said excitedly as the door opened.

"First," he commented "You don't demand wedding presents before the wedding especially when you ask for someones death for no reason.

"There was a reason"

"Maybe so, but you didn't explain it to anyone. Thank god he ran out when did else we really would be married."

River cried at this last Statement.

"Look, I came here to say you cant just take some man as your own with no thought at all about his felling. You have to make a relationship and that takes time, God does that take time."

River replied

"Its just when I looked into your mind it was so much like my own. We always have to run and as we run we lose more of our self. Your the only one who understands me, please don't go."

"Why should I ,you pried in my mind without my permission."

"Please?" she went on her knees pleading.

John looked at her for what seemed like an hour.

"Will start afresh as friends." He said as river jumped happily "My Names,"

"I already know you name." river interrupted

John gave an annoyed glare making river stop smiling.

"My name is John Crichton."

He held his hand out River looked at it before giving her hand saying

"I'm River Tam."

The doctor fiddled with the last mess of wire.

"We should be ready in a few minutes." he replied to the others. Watching him closely with there guns in check.

"Are you sure about this Zhaan." D'argo asked.

"We have no choice." she replied

A light seemed to spread throughout Moya and stretched to the Tardis when suddenly nothing was there but a mass of stars.


End file.
